MEMBERS
Arizona
Mesa Lone Wolves
"Sinister" – Jeremiah ~ (RBSC 036) He was given the name due to the fact he’s a cold hearted two stroke love maker. He enjoys a good pint or two and spending time working on his and his mates bikes. Sin has traveled as far as merry ol’ England to go to rally’s and has owned more then 9 Vespa’s since the age of 15.
California
Bay Area Chapter 002
"Drunk" - Rubin ~ (RBSC 011) On a cold night, you can always find Drunk with a skirt on. Many people know him as "Scooter Skirt" Rubin but to us he is just a Drunk Bastard. He has a loving wife and a little one that he enjoys spending time with. But on a full moon, with his wife’s permission, Drunk is by our side slamming down ale with a big smile on his face. Knighted June 30th, 2007 by Smug Bastard, Vacaville, CA.
"Troubled" - Tanya ~ (RBSC 070) Trouble was knighted on a foggy San Francisco night, in the early months of 2008 by the bastards of yesteryear. The actual date has been lost to the sands of time. The LA native sells Vespas in SF for a living, but for fun she can be found chasing girls, knitting, knife fights, adding chrome to her GTV and pimped GTS, drafting off trucks on the 5 freeway or adding to her tattoo collection. No kids, but two very high matainence cats make up her family in SF. If you’ve got Trouble, you’ve got a lot on your hands.
Bay Area Lone Wolves
"Slow" - Dan ~ (RBSC 073) I have been riding since I was 12 years old. The last 20 years has been mostly on Harleys, that's why I'm "olhogrider" on MV. After a brief stint on Ducatis I discovered scooters. My first was a Chinese Junk, which I still have, only now my oldest daughter is riding it. Now I ride a GTS. I was knighted in Las Vegas at the High Rollers weekend. These days my job consists of sitting in a chair and staring out the window. That chair is moving at over 500 mph!
Central Valley Lone Wolves
"Blushing" - Tanya ~ (RBSC 113) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Commie" - Bill ~ (RBSC 112) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Overall" - Jimmy ~ (RBSC 111) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Inland Empire Lone Wolves
"Crass" - Mike ~ Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Scrappy” – Becky ~ (RBSC 081) On the day she got her LX150 she “parked at speed” and broke her collarbone. Eight weeks later she was back in the saddle at the MSF course with a bunch of cocky, Harley Davidson riding punks who were half her age and had no fashion sense whatsoever. They sneered at her until she outscored them and was ranked #4 in the class. The next month Scrappy went to her first rally - 141 miles complete with high winds, blowing sand and riding after sundown for the first time. Is it any wonder they call her “Scrappy?” When she’s not chasing the four kids at home or herding the cats teaching kindergarten, she likes to read, listen to music, garden, scrapbook, and ride her scooter. Facials and hot stone massages are also high on her happy list. Scrappy was knighted by Wicked on April 19, 2008 in San Diego’s Presidio Park.
“Tiny” – Doug ~ (RBSC 082) Tiny has never been tiny. Even as a kid he was the biggest one in his class. He is incorrigible to say the least (well, maybe just stupid). When he was 12 his older brother David told him to jump off the roof and grab the hula-hoop as he passed through. He did and hit the ground with a thud. Then when Dave needed a moving target for his BB gun, Tiny went to the other side of the yard and ran back and forth. Little did they know that Tiny was just “paying David forward” for borrowing his motorcycle. Technically it was stealing, but it was in the family, so that doesn’t count. Tiny has been riding motorcycles since he was 14. His gullible wife Scrappy let him back on two wheels in 2006 when he told her he wanted to buy a scooter. So what if it was a Burgman 650, aka a motorcycle in disguise? It took a few months for her to figure out the difference. When Scrappy told him that she wanted to ride her own scooter it was as if he had died and gone to heaven. Tiny bought Scrappy an LX150, which she promptly parked at speed, but that’s another story. In 2008 Tiny sold his Maxi and bought a GTS and has never looked back. Knighted April 19th by Crazy Bastard in San Diego’s Presidio Park after watching chicks in fishnets and tank tops roller derby.
Long Beach Lone Wolves
"Hairy" - Brian ~ (RBSC 063) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"La Femme" - Sylvia ~ (RBSC 062) Le Femme Bastard is the quintessential international woman of mystery. She enjoys a mishmash of things, including speaking about herself in the 3rd person, confusing the masses, the innuendo of Beatles songs, saving the earth, and Feist. Le Femme digs on a slew of hobbies such as cooking, eating, snowboarding, music (all kinds), travel, and cruising through Compton on her beloved Vespa. She can also issue (anyone who needs it) a good ole fashioned cursing in four different languages. Nikita ain’t got shit on me, word? She rocks a chromed out diamond white LX150 with a homemade shag blue seat cover.
Monterey Lone Wolves
"Aussie" - Marc ~ (RBSC 032). I didn’t get the scooter bug until I moved to California from Australia. Where I lived, down there, scooters were impractical even though my Muslim/Catholic godfather had a P200(true, even about the P200). I started looking around for a ride in ’99, and was amazed that a beater mid-70’s P series was going for around three and half. This cooled me off a little. Then I saw the ’new’ Vino 49cc at the local sportsbike shop and plopped down the credit card. What a dog, I stage-oned it, added tecnomoto variator and Technigas pipe, upjetted the carb two sizes. I was clocked by the missus at 60mph! I was about 30 lbs lighter back then, even. Then the ET’s came out in ’01 and we were all over it. We went to King’s Classic, Endless Summer, Yosemite National Park... In ’02 I was feeling the need for a vintage scooter and sold the Vino to buy a Lambretta Vega. I love ’oddscoots’. I shipped the engine off to WCLW, stripped the body and had it painted ’Venus Green’, an original color. It was a frankenscoot and parts were only available in the U.K. There wasn’t much interest in them back then and it was tough. When the GTS came out, I wanted to trade the ET on it, but the wife wouldn’t let me, with all the mods on it I have over 12k in that thing! Anyway, it’s great to be a Bastard! Long live the RBSC! Cheers, Aussie. Knighted July 29th 2007 by Über Bastard, Lake Tahoe, CA.
"Mrs. Aussie" – Belinda ~ (RBSC 033) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Sacramento Chapter 001
"Absolute" - Michael ~ "Absolute Bastard" really tells the story and he is always looking for the longest way home on his scoot. Born and raised in the Sacramento Valley, he comes from a 5th generation California farming family. His first experience with a scooter was on the farm with a red late 1940's Cushman step through that was used for chores throughout the farm to irrigate the crops. There was also a Tote Goat to ride, but he preferred the Scooter. He had to fight with his 3 brothers to ride the scooter, being the faster of the two wheelers, of course he preferred the Cushman. He rides his Dragon Red Vespa 150 LX through out Sacramento and the surrounding Valley, cutting traffic and looking for illegal cigarettes hanging out of car windows. (can't tell you any more about the Cigarettes, some members in the Club want him to wear a shock collar when he rides with them). He has an Aprilia Atlantic 500 for the longer hauls and the faster ones. He loves both his Italian Scoots equally and each one has a different space in his heart. In the Professional world he took up the enlightened profession of Health Care. He is a GI Nurse and when it comes to Bottoms he is Tops...
"BBQ" - Rick ~ (RBSC 061) I was knighted by Rowdy Bastard in the middle of the Vespa showroom in Roseville. Thanks to Randy bastard, I have a 14 year old daughter who keeps me out of trouble. My scoots have ranged from a Heinkle to a P-200 to a couple of ETs and finally to a GTS 250. While out riding I'm always looking for a grill with a nice ash.
"BigBad" - Tony ~ Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Bodacious" - Cindy ~ Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Bossy” - Renee ~ (RBSC 109) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Cheap" - Mark ~ (RBSC 005) Well, what can we say about a guy with a name like Cheep? Yea, he won’t buy you a drink, but he might get you to buy him one. Cheep was frat brothers with Kevin Costner. He doesn’t remember much about school other than all the boinking that was going on. Mark is in outside sales for the HVAC trade. He has a wonderful wife and 15 kids. Ok, well, only 4 kids, but really what’s the difference anyway? Cheep got a great deal on a 2006 Vintage Red Vespa. Knighted on January15th 2006.
"Cocky" - John ~ (RBSC 041) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Contented"- Nancy ~ (RBSC 052) She wanted a scooter for a while but never got around to it until a yellow Vespa 250 called her name and she HAD to answer. It’s stock and since she hasn’t gotten past the fear of getting dirty working on it yet, it looks like it will stay that way until she can come up with a good bribe to get Exhausted to make some changes for her! She’s been happily married to Exhausted Bastard for more than half her life. She has one son that got married this year so now she says she has a daughter and a "Grandkitty" to spoil too! She does daycare for a living and when she grows up she has no idea of what she will actually do...Retire?? If you can’t find her on her scoot you will either find her working out at the gym, on the road attempting to train for a marathon (yeah, right), taking a class at Sierra College or riding on the back of one of Exhausted’s other bikes.
"Demented" - Wes ~ (RBSC 110) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Exhausted" - Al ~ (RBSC 051) Exhausted was born on the same night that chiacago died. His hobbies were filling his garage with Harleys until the Vespa bug bit him. Now Exhausted enjoys exploring his fem side by riding a cute little Vespa motor scooter around, having fun in the sun as he scoots around town. With the loss of his leather clad Harley buddies, Exhausted has found new friends that are a little more fun to hang around. Exhausted shows a strong focus on pleasing his loving wife going far above the normal duties of husbandry. Once the bedroom door shuts it’s on like Donkey Kong, Al comes alive!. His wife has said that he’s the perfect lover. An outside view would contain the thoughts of a gentleman in public and a wild beast in bed. His wife’s club name is Contented his is Exhausted you figure it out.
"Foolish" - Michele ~ (RBSC 092) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Horney" - Scott ~ (RBSC 004) This guy is always looking for action. . . Lock up your sisters, mothers, and grandmothers, Scott loves women of all ages. Once he reads this, I know I will be updating it. If you’re a woman and looking for action, Scott’s your man. Horney, write up your Bio and I will change this. Horney is a recruiter for the California Army National Guard and he’s single. Knighted December 2nd 2006.
"Naked" - Alice ~ Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Old" - GT ~ (RBSC 003) He purchased his first Vespa in San Francisco in the year 1966! He drove that Vespa 150 off the showroom floor. GT says in those days people drove a little slower and he had no trouble taking that scooter up to Reno or Tahoe. GT is a lifetime member of E Clampus Vitusus. He owned a go-go joint. We consider GT the hands on guy for what a 60’s chick should look and feel like. Army Vet / Tanker. . . GT is retired and single. Knighted November 4th 2006.
"Randy" - Randy ~ (RBSC 048) I began riding when I was 7 on a Z50 Mini Trail Honda. My family owned a motorcycle salvage yard...I am a true Junk Yard Dog. I graduated in 1991 from Cal State University of Sacramento witha BS in Marketing. My parents started up A&S BMW Motorcycles in 1988...out with the salvage and in with the new. We became the largest BMW Motorcycle dealership in the world in 2003. At that point my parents retired and I became the dealer Principal. We started Vespa Roseville in 2005. I am married with two children, and live in Lincoln, CA where I remain an avid motorcyclist and scooterist. It’s all about the ride!
"Rowdy" - Megan ~ (RBSC 047) is an advocate for any and all 2-wheeled motor vehicles. She rides (and owns) street bikes, dirt bikes and scooters. Having ridden coast to coast, top to bottom of our great nation, participating in several trackdays, and crashing in the dirt and snow with the best– she’s kind of a big deal. Rowdy first met Lucky at the start of her dancing career, when they were both in the ’industry’. He took her under his wing and mentored her to a level of success most dancers are unable to achieve. However, after her career debilitating injury, resulting in the loss of the ability to make her left breast rotate in a counter clockwise motion, Rowdy and Lucky lost touch. After reaching rock bottom in the form of a dead end job at Hot Dog on a Stick, Rowdy knew she had to turn her life around. She found herself and her calling in the motorsports world. And sheer happenstance brought Lucky and Rowdy back together again (looking for the perfect cabbage for a St. Patrick’s Day Feast – they reached for the same head), and into the fold of the Royal Bastard Scooter Club. Nowadays, Rowdy can often be found dancing on the bar, and touting a different boyfriend for each day of the week (she’s taking applications for Tuesdays). Trust us, you won’t want to miss kickin’ it with this chicky! Knighted Nov 13th 2007 in Old Sacramento CA. RBSC 047
"Sassy" - Sonia ~ (RBSC 010) She has a flower-powered stock light blue LX150. She has mad skills and makes her own custom Vespa seat covers. Sassy enjoys a beer with the boys and giving scooter rides to Conrad, her pet male human. With her natural blond hair and bright blue eyes, Sassy is every Scooterboy’s dream. Sorry boys, she’s taken. She works as a mild-mannered engineer during the day, but at night she loves to listen to one-man bands and hang out in dive bars. Knighted April 14th 2007 by Smug Bastard, Sacramento, CA.
"Sic" - Devn ~ The Vespa bug bit Sic back in his teen years, but just as it took effect; he joined our armed forces and served four years on the USS New Jersey BB-62. It was while serving our country that Sic found his way into the L.A. underground bar scene. It wasn’t long before he fell to the dark side and the legend of Sic was born. After years of partying ‘til dawn and living carefree, he finally settled down, got married, and had kids. Eventually that changed too. He became single, got the kids out of the house, and met someone new. Sic began to reinvent himself; again. After much deliberation of to scoot or not to scoot, his new gal bought him a new, black (big surprise) 2007 GTS 250ie. Needless to say, he is very glad he did not choose to get a motorcycle instead, especially since he can’t seem to keep himself from searching the highways to find fair-weather Harley riders to taunt. He does this by forcing them to hit the throttle to keep up with him after a nice pass by. He can also be seen riding through town looking for potential scooter tag spots. It’s a classic story of a man and his Vespa. They are practically inseparable. On February 8, 2009, in true Sic style, he was knighted by Cool Bastard in the Old City Cemetery in Sacramento, CA.
"Sneaky" - Hai ~ (RBSC 045) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Speedy" - Susan ~ Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Super" - Z’Don ~ (RBSC 002) He wanted us to name the club Butt Rude Scooter Club. Z’Don speaks his mind. Sometimes, we wish he would just learn to keep his bastardly comments to himself. He has a gray 1979 P200E that he says is one bastardized scooter. Z’Don was a drill instructor, now he holds the rank of master sgt. Super Bastard is in charge of a team of recruiters in Sacramento. He is married; we can’t figure out how she stands him. Knighted November 02, 2006.
"Toad’l" - John ~ (RBSC 105) Toad'l (pronounced Total) started out as just a little tadpole back in 1977. That was the year he graduated from BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) Training. He went on to UDT-12 to become a full fledged Navy Frogman. After active duty he joined Naval Reserve SEAL Team 1/3/5. He retired from the Navy Reserves on 1/1/2005. His first motorcycle was in 1979, Yamaha RD350. He moved to dirt bikes then to quads. He and his brother spent may weekends racing up and down the sand dunes by Glamis, CA. His scooter life started in May 2008 due to the rising gas prices. He is back on 2 wheels and loving it. Up until recently you would see him riding his Piaggio X9 with his wife, Renee, on the back. Now she rides next to him on her Big Ruckus. Another Bastard in the making. In true frogman style Toad'l was knighted by Speedy in the Sacramento river on August 27, 2009. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLrYt2duSNI
“Wayward” – Barbara ~ (RBSC 080) Wayward, Lucky and Super went to Kindergarten together until Wayward was expelled for stealing Super's cookies and Kool-aid at snack time. O.K., it didn't help that she also hit Lucky when he tried to sneak a peek up her dress. Wayward then spent the rest of her youth on a small island in San Francisco Bay (was that Alcatraz or Alameda?) until being reunited with her childhood pals by Rowdy Bastard. Today, Wayward lives on a strict diet of coffee and margaritas, but can't resist occasionally stealing Super's apple pies. She once got so desperate for solid food she ate a piece of pie Lucky had dropped on the floor! Wayward loves coffee, potatoes, glow-in-the dark stuff, coffee, booze, coffee, donuts, coffee and her Dragon Red 2007 Vespa GTS 250. She can usually be found getting transfusions at Starbucks, Peet's, or any local coffeehouses.
"Zany" - Audrey ~ (RBSC 034) She likes to clown around (really) hence the name. She had a Cushman Scooter as a kid back in ’58 with her brother. She hangs out with Old, a friend since 1980, and her husband’s good friend from Old’s racing days. She has a kitted 190 silver Vespa to match her hair but watch out -- it’s liable to become "bright"! She has 4 grown children including twins, a daughter that is an auto mechanic, 3 step- children, 12 grandchildren and 1 on the way. She loves to dance, listen to music and play the piano. She’s a good cook -- her potato salad earned her 3 proposals of marriage in her single days. Knighted Aug 09, 2007 Sacramento, CA.
San Diego Chapter 005
"Bitty" - Amy ~ (RBSC 114) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Clever" – Gitta ~ (RBSC 069) Clever is equipped with a sharp tongue and a nimble mind – which manages to simultaneously get her into and out of trouble. That is just how clever she is. Living the scoot perfect life in San Diego, this Bastard has it all. A personal fleet of Vespas, two brilliant cats, scoot enthusiast neighbors and an understanding husband. Clever’s pastimes include unnecessary modifications to her beloved GT Lenore; whipping up bitchen crafts & handmade jewelry to delight, shock and inspire; scooter talk; holding an audience of any kind; engaging in scooter talk; drinking heavily with German octogenarians; scooter talk; and riding, riding, riding her darling Lenore. Knighted on February 16, 2008 in Las Vegas by Oedipus Bastard.
"Complete" – Julie ~ (RBSC 068) Complete is all-in-one: artistic and mechanical; beer and wine; scooter fixer and scooter killer; musical and chemical; wife and husband; rich and poor. Complete is restoring a 62 VNB Cushman Vespa but rides a red Bajaj Chetak. She comes to San Diego via Denver, Minneapolis and Omaha.
"Creepy" - Jonah ~ (RBSC 115) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Oedipus" - Rex ~ (RBSC 057) Quite possibly the most notable bastard in playright history, Oedipus Rex is famous for killing his father to marry his mother and quench his primal sexual urges in a 420 B.C. Sophocles play. In 2007, Oedipus Bastard joins us from San Diego as he carries a similar artistic background in the arts. He is a singer, songwriter, and videographer who was crowned the winner of the first-ever Yahoo! Talent Show with his upbeat original music and online videos. Immediately following his huge success, he won yet again, this time as grand prize winner of the GO GREEN Vespa Video Challenge featuring his extremely addicting music video, "Vespa Vespa". Knighted Dec 8th 2007 Long Beach CA by Crazy Bastard.
“Reverend” – Colin ~ (RBSC 075) Raised as a Southern Baptist (and no, not the ban-on-dancing, arms in the air, Hallelujah'ing crazy kind), Reverend moved to LA in 2000 and has since embraced the agnostic ways of Hollyweird. But in a weird twist of fate, he accidentally clicked on a link on the interweb, and he instantly became ordained as a Reverend in the ULC. Although he has yet to officiate a real wedding, he has married several of his girlfriends whilst they were sleeping (just don't tell them!) Rev works for the greatest boss ever: two of his bonuses were an ET4 in 2004 and a GTS in 2007. Sporting his new Copper/Brown custom paint job from Smokin’ Bastard, some folks refer to the color as "KaKa Brown." Beware of lightning strikes ye bad mouthing bastards, for the Rev has friends in high places!!
“Shifty” – Todd ~ (RBSC 076) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Silent" - John ~ (RBSC 072) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Wreckless" – Liz ~ (RBSC 067) This one time? At band camp? Band geek through and through, Wreckless can be spotted with a purple gig bag strapped to her back while riding to rehearsals on her ET4. She got her valuable college education paid for with a full-ride musical scholarship and even met Complete Bastard at a rehearsal. Unfortunately, these skills don’t pay the bills, so she works in health information management where she reads the amazing storeis of how people come to find themselves in the hospital. If you meet her, ask why these words spell trouble in the same sentence: drunk + naked + on-the-roof. Hopefully she will avoid her own accident and keep the W in Wreckless.
Thousand Oaks Chapter 007
“Backwoods ” – Spencer ~ (RBSC 078) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Doctor” – (RBSC 086 ) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Salty”– (RBSC 088) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Scottish” – (RBSC 087) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Smokin” – David ~ (RBSC 077) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Stubborn” – Jameson ~ (RBSC 085) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Wrightwood Lone Wolves
"Crazy" – Kevin ~ (RBSC 050) Branded Crazy Kevin by his boyhood friends for stunts such as landing on the hood of a car after a really cool ski run through the trees or jumping on a Greyhound bus after high school only to disappear for the next three years. Crazy lives for the moment. Having been diagnosed with everything from ADHD to Restless Leg Syndrome, Crazy enjoys hanging out in caves, mines and closets, anywhere dark, where the voices in his head seem to make sense. Having never been convicted of a crime, Crazy plans on writing a book about his exploits, but only after the statute of limitations runs out. True to the crazy way, he met Wicked on the internet and married her in just three weeks and that was ten years ago. Believing life is short, and hell bent on making it shorter, Crazy has decided to hang around at least a little bit longer after finding safe refuge amongst the only people with which he feels a kind of kinship, The Royal Bastards. Knighted Dec 8th 2007 Long Beach CA by Wicked Bastard.
"Wicked" – Linda ~ (RBSC 049) To some, Wicked means nasty, morally bad, or just plain crappy to be around. But in New England slang it means just the opposite. Wicked is better than better, like that was a wicked hot apple pie. And that is Wicked Bastard in a word. Born into a family with nine brothers and sisters in northern Maine, she learned early on that to survive she’d have to be wicked fast, wicked smart, and wicked tough. She met Crazy on the internet in 1997 and when he was too chicken to meet her in person she told him not to waste her time. They were married three weeks later. That was wicked fast. She was the first to discover how cool scooters were, and that was wicked smart. She can take a three thousand mile scooter ride in the dark, cold, rainy night, playing dodge deer and still yell out some bastard worthy encouragement to the other riders. Now that’s wicked tough. If you have the opportunity to ride with her at a rally or just a weekender short hop, you also find she’s just plain wicked fun to be around. Knighted Dec 8th 2007 Long Beach CA by Cranky Bastard.
Colorado
Denver Lone Wolves
“Hillbilly” – Trey ~ (RBSC 089) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Louisiana
New Orleans Lone Wolves
"Whodat" - John ~ (RBSC 053) Whodat has been scooting around New Orleans for about 14 years now. Down on his luck with no car in the early ’90s he bought his first scooter. A 1979 Puch moped that had a top speed of 27 MPH that he bought for 50 dollars. A few years later he sold it for $150 and bought a 1993 red Honda Elite 80. Are we not men? Overwhelmed by its raw power (attaining 50 MPH), he rode it for several years until it was stolen in ’99. He went scooterless for a few years feeling nothing could replace his beloved CH80. One day early in the new millennium word had gotten out that a Vespa dealer had opened in the Crescent City. He went to check it out and test rode an ET4. Whodat was smitten but couldn’t afford it so by chance he found a 1985 kitted T5 that a local Jedi Knight was selling. Unfortunately, it didn’t come with papers and he couldn’t negotiate the Byzantine Louisiana Napoleonic code to get it titled and registered. Sadly, he had to let his brief flirtation with vintage go. Whodat was very low at this point and his scooter addiction had made him weak so any cheap ass fix would do. That is why he bought a 2004 TNG Venice. That wonderful ride blew an engine at 1500K (not miles mind you) but Whodat was undaunted he got it fixed and rode it until it died on his way to work in the Spring of 2007. With the new and improved Vespa New Orleans only a few blocks from work Post-K, he walked over at lunchtime and bought a 2007 Classic Red GTS250ie. His life is now whole. When Whodat is not caressing his beloved GTS he is traveling the world and drinking wine with his wife Linda or rooting for his beloved (and namesake) New Orleans Saints (Saints fans are called Whodats) or keeping the Formosan termites from devouring his 150 year old Creole Cottage in da Irish Channel, Uptown, New Orlinz, dahlin.
New York
New York City Lone Wolves
"BigX" - Xavier ~ (RBSC 040) Tall dark and crazy (Like-a-fox). I’ve had a love for 2 wheels since….well forever. If people don’t see me on Rollerblades, Skateboards, Mt Bikes or my Vespa…then they ask me if everything is okay, I just tell them some time it’s nice just nice to walk..;) I’, in the scene but not really IN the scene. I don’t care if you’re on a Vespa, Lammy, Honda, Yamaha, Suzuki, Kymco, Ducti, KTM, BMW or Harley..you just need a live for bikes and a cool attitude and we’ll be gravy. I usually can’t make it to most rallies, but love to hear the stories (glade it’s not my ass on the net). However when I can go, I try to spread some BigX love around. I’ve had my scoot since 2005, I don’t know what I did with out it before. Of course seeing all the mods and upgrades that people were doing on the web, I immediately started plotting custom mods, which have come along nicely since the warranty has run out..:) So, if you see a black scoot with an "X" on the back you’ve just been in close proximity to BIG X. And you know it feeeels good baby!! Knighted Oct 2007 Richmond VA by Flaming Bastard.
North Carolina
Asheville Lone Wolves
"Blue" - David ~ (RBSC 025) When Blue was a boy, he was asked to choose his favorite weather. His response: wind. Since then he has had a love for bicycles and scooters. His name comes from his blue Vespa LX150, his favorite color, and his alma maters (two are blue). Blue is a classic wanderer with a good sense of direction, so for him it’s all about the journey. He’s been a higher ed. fundraiser almost all of his career. He’s into nerd music, good beer, Neccos, riding all over the mountains of NC, and his scooterbabe wife Chesley.
"Dirty" – Seth ~ (RBSC 022) Dirty Bastard lives in Asheville, NC and is often seen riding around town on his beloved Stella, much to the dismay of local authorities and religious zealots. Dirty is also known in scooter circles as Crackhead, not a reference to his drug habit, but rather a reminder that he once split his head open while listening to Arlo Guthrie on his iPod. Arlo isn’t all that bad, you say? Dirty agrees. It probably isn’t a good idea, however, to listen to folk music whilst operating a motor scooter. In this case, it resulted in a collision with a telephone company truck and 25 stitches to his forehead. With a trashed Vespa and settlement check in hand, Dirty acquired the beautiful maiden Stella. And the story continues…
"Easy" - Starr ~ (RBSC 090) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Pennsylvania
Philadelphia Chapter 003
"Baldy" - Clark ~ (RBSC 027) Baldy was the very first image used by Mr. Clean in 1958. After getting caught seducing a dirty little office girl, Baldy was fired and then found work and is now retired from a dirty start-up company called Sony. Baldy has enjoyed riding on two wheels for more than 30 years. After cleaning up Sony, Baldy can now enjoy riding his 2006 Burgman or his 2005 Stella. He enjoys long rides with other Bastards that he calls friends. His favorite thing at a ride, of course, is riding sweep. Knighted July 13th 2007 by Princess Bastard, Bastard Chamber Penn Home, Philly, PA
"Big Mouth" - Bernie ~ (RBSC 043) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Bitchy Bastard" - Terri ~ (RBSC 038) After being stuck to the back of Sticky Bastard riding bitch and bitching about the way he drives, she finally decided it was time to take control of her own ride. Bitchy went with a bitching green Kymco People 150. It takes a very special person to put up with a Bitchy Bastard. She told me that the seat has a really small lump in it and the oil doesn’t smell right. She says the headlight is not aligned very well and it’s not really getting the same MPG as the dealer sad it would. But other than that it seems to be ok for a scooter. What a bitch! We love ya anyway. Welcome Terri and try to keep your Bitchy side down. Knighted Aug 17th 2007 by Extreme Bastard, Philly, PA
"Crafty" ~ (RBSC 059) Profile still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Extreme" - Ben ~ (RBSC 035) I got my first Scoot (A Commie Cruiser) in January of 2007. I attempted to jump the Snake River Canyon with it but that didn’t go so well so I just left it at the bottom. I quickly upgraded to my current beast, The Big Flying Ruckus. I bought it because it looks "EXTREME"!!!! With a machine as tuff as this it’s now ok for me to wear pink again. I have been told that I take everything to the umpth degree. (Extreme) You might just notice items on my Ruckus that you can only find in Japan. I love going to rallies, collecting trophies for Best Modern Scooter, and riding with my fellow Bastards. If you need a good laugh, and an EXTREME good time stop by for one of our rides. Knighted Aug 10th 2007 by Sticky Bastard, Linden Ave Boat Ramp Philly, PA
"Genuine" - Pat ~ (RBSC 028) The day she was born, she bit the doctors’ hand. He mumbled that she was a little bastard. Her mother didn’t hear the doctor, but over the years came to know just how much of a bastard her child really was. Today, you can find Genuine ripping around Philly on her Buddy 125. She holds her own just like any bastard should. She loves the wind in her hair and the fine company of other bastards. Genuine Bastard is willing to take a risk and she always knows when the odds are in her favor. Knighted July 13th 2007 by Baldy Bastard, Bastard Chamber Penn Home, Philly, PA
"Lord" - Mark ~ (RBSC 014) What can we say, he has a God complex. Self-proclaimed "Lord" enjoys having brunch, then riding his Scooter all over town. Lord is partly responsible for the creation of the Philly Chapter. With the power to smite, Lord will be helping Sticky to grow the Philly Chapter. With the Lord on our side, how could we go wrong? Knighted July 13th 2007 by Sticky Bastard, Bastard Chamber Penn Home, Philly, PA
"Melodious” - Jon ~ (RBSC 060) ~ Most bastard infants are born crying. Melodious was born singing. During the Sixties he thinks that he may have sung in a famous folk group that shall remain nameless, now disbanded. If you listen closely, you may hear the muffled tones of folk music emerging from under his full face helmet while riding either his Burgman 400 or his Vespa ET4. He enjoys going on rallies and the camaraderie of his fellow Bastards. It brings back ancient memories of those audience participation songs. "Why can’t we all just Sing along?" Jon’s a body builder and personal trainer too ... so don’t make him angry. To be knighted April 6, 2008 at Bowman’s Tower near Washington Crossing, PA.
“Obsessive” - Joe ~ This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Princess" - Terry ~ (RBSC 026) Each day starts with some Bastard bringing Princess a cup of coffee. She enjoys the finer things in life, including basking in the sun on the family Bayliner. When she is not cruising the waterways of Philly, Princess enjoys mixing it up with the scooter community. Being a Royal Bastard affords her two fine steeds. She has the choice of a ZX50 or the classic Series Italia Buddy 125. With a Bastard entourage, it’s no wonder she leads the life of a Princess. Knighted July 13th 2007 by Lord Bastard, Bastard Chamber Penn Home, Philly, PA
"Sticky" - Tom ~ (RBSC 013) Sticky fell in love with scooters in Italy during the endless summer of ’85. Before his job went automated, Sticky worked his way up as the head stamp licker for FedEx. He enjoys the reliability of his sexy Vespa GTS250ie. However, he looks forward to the day when he finds that perfect Rally 200 he can kick-start and call bitch. He often finds himself in sticky situations from only Lord knows what. Sticky is our first Bastard on the East Coast. Yo, Philly represents!. We have a lot of love for Tom, even if he is Sticky. Knighted July 27th 2007 by Zippy Bastard, Lake Tahoe, CA.
"Wet" - Lonnie ~ (RBSC 106) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Texas
“FOX” Inman Chapter 006
“Dollface” – Jen ~ This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Flatout” – Jeremy ~ (RBSC 083) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
“Fox” – Robert~ RIP November 2, 2008 Forever in our hearts, we will not forget you.
“Friar” – Eric ~ (RBSC 079) Friar is a native born Texan cowboy who is no stranger to foreign lands. Having gone to school in the city of brotherly love and lived in the land of Poles (i.e. Poland), he is full of northeastern grit and communist rebellion. He began busting his knuckles on a circa 68 Vespa in his late teens. That baby blue rust bucket met its demise at the hands of an F-150 truck that didn't see it as it backed up. Fortunately, Friar wasn’t on it. Public transport and skateboards were the only things this boy knew until a shattered ankle put him out of commission as far as skateboarding was concerned. Now you'll find Friar listening to ghetto krunk ass jams as he runs from his job making espresso to paying the bills and answering his calling at a small Christian community. Friar Bastard rolls hard and loud on a black 2007 GTS with a Leo vince pipe-sans baffles, dodging jacked-up pick-up trucks which could decapitate a full-grown man with their bumpers. If you’re ever in funkytown and want a good cup of coffee or a sermon, make sure to hit up this bald, tattooed and bearded (most of the time) Bastard.
"Irish" - Pat ~ (RBSC 031) This Bastard is Canadian born, but spent a long time in Northern Ireland where he specialized in working for peace, generally running amok and confusing the British soldiers with his Canadian Passport and his 66 VBB. He may have been responsible for the break out of peace in the late 90’s? -Clinton had nothing to do with it! Retired as an active member of the party club in Oct ’95 and is now a tea totaller. He’s a friend of Jimmy K’s but can still sing a few Irish drinking songs when called upon. Patrick has the ability to tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. (Irish Diplomacy) He rides a Guinness colored two-toned GTS and is still looking for a vintage VBB. His wife recently customized the front cowl of his GT 60 993, so she got it as her ninth anniversary gift. Pat’s an Irish history buff, never order a ’Black & Tan’ when he’s around or you WILL get a lecture on the history of those miserable buggers. His favorite saying is; "Pog Mo Thoin." Don’t know what it means?-then google it you bullocks! (and then do it.) Knighted July 27th 2007 by Greasy Bastard, Lake Tahoe CA.
“Ninja” – Gillian ~ (RBSC 084) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Smartass" – Glenn ~ (RBSC 037) Scooterholic Native to Corry, PA. I have a 2006 Kymco(I call her Medusa) I bought new during Oct. ’06 and have nearly 29,000km on her, you do the math. I live deep in the country on a dirt road where the deer and the buzzards play (you try dodging a stupid buzzard doing 65 MPH. Saved a dogs life once by laying my bike down on a gravel/dirt road instead of hitting the dog, fractured my ankle and my ego. I have a "thing" with attracting dogs (that’s the four legged variety). When those four legged tire biters come after me I come to a complete stop and just lay on the horn, non-stop, to annoy the hell out of their owners. I’ll even lay on the horn at 2am (such a smartass), to proclaim my dissatisfaction. Seemingly, I no longer have a problem with the neighbors dogs. I purposefully forget to buy something at the grocery store just so I can later go out and scoot. I am considering buying a vintage scooter. I love the vintage Vespa and Lambretta, but my dream machine is a German Heinkel Tourist scooter, model 103 A1 or 103 A2 (http://www.heinkeltourist.com/).
Virginia
Washington
“Handsome – Jerry~ (RBSC 029) This profile is still under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up). Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Washington
Lewis-Clark Valley
"Bloody" - Josh ~ (RBSC 108) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
"Styff" - Lacyn~ (RBSC 107) Profile is currently under construction (that’s code for we are still making stuff up) Check back soon to see what we came up with.
Seattle
"Magnificent" - Evan ~ (RBSC 030) Always with something smart and horribly inappropriate to say, Magnificent Bastard has truly earned his title through years of hard work of learning exactly what not to say, then promptly saying it for his own personal amusement. He can be found riding around Seattle on Mary Jane, which is also the name of his LX150, often wondering what it would take to have a recreation of the Mods Vs. Rockers riots of Brighton Beach in the 1960s on Alki Beach in Seattle, with modern scooterists vs. sport bikers. Or something like that. Knighted July 13th 2007 by Zippy Bastard, Seattle, WA.